Good Morning.
Here i am...blogging at 1:50 sunday morning.
Feeling well i am not.
With a cold i am coming down, i think.
From watching Jackie Chan at Mega Mall i just came home less than 2 hours ago.
Drinking a cold Glass of Drysden Apple juice i am.
Munching on a an inch thick slice of cold spam from the fridge I am.
Gorging on a large, VERY large slice of chocolate mouse I am. (courtesy of a supplier lst Valentines)
My chest and throat ache. Dying I think I am. Funny if i die of colds. Or choke to death on a slice of cake. Or drown on a glass of apple juice.
I wonder which would be funnier. (okay pathetic is a better word than funny)
hmmm...1:57. It took me 7 minutes to write the crap above? In between gnawing at the slice of spam.
Wait...let me slice an inch thick brick of moldy cheese.
Hemmed in by Spam, apple juice, chocolate mousse, cheese, blog and my colds.
I glance at my cell phone...triband nokia 6310i...no activity.
(There has been no activity in my cell for the last 12 hours or so but i keep on hoping.)
I sent valentine greetings to all my friends thru my nokia.
Only about 6 wasted 1 peso on me. Mayti, mambie, alexxa, choco. bheng, abvy.
I think i will die of loneliness.
What a way to die...lonely, ravaged by a cold, surrounded by spam, apple juice, choco mousse, cheese. yes moldy cheese (instead of friends) .
My last thoughts will be, "i liked shanghai knights but i liked rush hour better".
2:06 AM
While in Mega Mall i stayed for while in Powerbooks.
Grabbed a Vincent Van Gogh book and browsed while waiting for my companions in that dingy, flea riddled sofa in Powerbooks.
Maybe thats why i have thoughts of death

One of the reasons Vincent shot himself in the stomach is that he felt bad that he is a burden to his brother Theo and his family.
All that beauty and art from that crazed guy who shot himself..dying much later of infection in his stomach from the bullet that was not removed.
Yes, he did not die immediately, he stumbled home and died much later. Imagine the pain.
And he died a pauper. His family, the van goghs, did not care for his paintings. they wanted to throw them away.
A few years ago they auctioned one of Vincent's paintings for 82+ million USD.
That is 4.6+ billion pesos nowadays.
A hundred years ago, this guy who painted, Starry Starry Night, died a crazy, earless pauper.
2:12 AM.
I probably wont die a pauper. And i will not cut my ear and shoot myself in the stomach and die a horribly painful and sad way.
But I have no Art or any kind of ethereal beauty trying to get out from inside of me.
I lived a happy life, but no one will remember me.
I will leave no monument when i die.
I will be dust like Vincent is now dust.
But he has all those glorious paintings i saw in a book in megamall yesterday.
Fascimiles they were but the glory is still there.
"Starry starry night...paint your pallete blue and gray
look out on a summer day
with eyes that watch the world and cant forget...
...
Now i understand, what you tried to say to me.
And how you suffered for your sanity
and how you tried to set them free
they would not listen they did not know how
perhaps theyll listen now.
for they could not love you
and still your love was true
and when no hope was left inside on that...
starry starry night...
you took your life as lovers often do.
but i could have told you Vincent, this world was never made
for one as beautiful as you..."

2:25 AM

choco mousse gone,
cheese gone
spam gone
apple juice gone.
but my cold still is here.

I think i will die of colds.
What an ignoble, pathetic way to die.
or i could have choked to death on chocolate mousse
Worse that would have been.
My triband Nokia is still dead.
If Van Gogh were alive today would he have used a Nokia or a Sony Erickson?
Would he have used Globe or smart?
Would he have cut his ear and not be able to hold his cell phone to his ear?
Yes i am writing nonsense.
I think i have gone crazy. (Well crazier than normal).
Its the colds...i will cut off my nose instead of my ears.

What was I doing? I was entertaining myself while waiting for WW3 to start.
They said WW3 will start yesterday Feb. 15.
Bush would not want to start WW3 on a Valentines day so it was going to be on the 15th.
Yesterday was the 15th...payday.
I was waiting all day and the rain of death and fire did not come.
I watched Jackie Chan and read Van Gogh (yes READ not view) while waiting for WW3.
It was a good day to die but WW3 did not come.
So i ended up eating cheese, spam, chocolate mousse, and drinking apple juice.
Can I lend you my ears?

2:39 AM Sunday. The war did not come.

:: Bing Saturday, February 15, 2003 [+] ::
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