Self-confidence is one of the hardest things to teach kids. Here's what my father taught me about self-confidence…
Teach kids to question conventional wisdom. There will always be people who say that something can't he done. Help kids identify the difference between those who have real wisdom and those who are just naysayers.
Emphasize that practical knowledge is just as important as learned knowledge. Knowledge is at the heart of self-confidence, especially for kids. If they know how to do something, they will be more confident in their abilities.
Hearing your stories builds self-confidence, especially when the stories demonstrate that you experienced the same types of issues your kids face. The key is to show in a colorful way how you handled them. If you survived, then they can, too.
Important: Make sure the stories illustrate a point and aren't told over and over again.
Persistence leads to success. One of the most difficult things for kids to learn is that it's fine to fail…and that when they do, they can get back up and try again. Children need to see that it's acceptable to stand up for what they believe—even when they're unsuccessful or their stance is unpopular.
Find out what your child is good at…and encourage it. Nothing breeds self-confidence better than success. In school, kids are required to take every subject—even those that are not their strengths. Those courses can cause frustration, especially when school struggles eat away at confidence and courage.
Key: Focus your encouragement on things your kids do well, and don't dwell on areas in which they fall short.
Bottom Line/Personal interviewed Rinker Buck, a writer who lives in Cornwall, Connecticut, with his wife and two daughters. He is author of Flight of Passage: A True Story, an account of his record-setting cross-country flight as a preteen in 1966 (Hyperion/$23.95). Source: Bottom Line/Personal, October 1, 1997, p. 18.
